Here Goes Nothin'

I have bounced back and forth about whether I wanted to start writing a blog for a few months now.  I have pondered over both the pros and the cons.  I finally decided to just do it and quit being so indecisive.  I hear that's one of my faults.  There are only a few, mind you.  So without further adieu, I shall begin my journey through the blogosphere.   

As I said, I put a lot more thought into this than there should probably be put into anything of such little importance, but I'll give you a little preview of my thought process.  When I started thinking of pros, they came quite easily.  I thought things like maybe a blog could be a source of therapy for me?  In a way I feel like writing down your thoughts and feelings forces you to really look at yourself and examine those parts of your life that need a little work or a complete change all together.  I am in NO way saying that this blog will be all about me and my quest to be a slightly more amazing person.  Who wants to go too far into their own head?  I sure don't.  You never know what you might find.  However, I feel like something of worth and importance should come out of this whole thing so there will be some of those posts.  I promise to warn you beforehand. 

I don't think of myself as a writer by any means.  The only shining moment I've had in the grammatical arena is when my high school English class received the news that only one of us received a B+ in the grammar section of our very-intense-at-the-time research paper while everyone else received C's and D's.  Can you guess who it was?  Twas this guh!  You probably don't believe me after reading those last two sentences because I'm pretty positive one's a huge runon and the other contains an abbrev (get used to those).  I never said I was Dickens.  All that being said, I can say that I am a creative person.  I use much more of my right brain in just about every aspect of my life.  Not a whole lot of logical thinking going on over here.  I've always expressed my creativity through art, but not a lot of that has gone on in the last decade.  Don't tell my high school art teacher that though.  I promise I'm not a total waste of space, Mrs. Hart!  So I figured writing could act as a creative outlet that I feel I need in my life at this point. 

So, after all of that thought and delusion I moved on to the cons, which naturally outweighed the pros in number and significance.  I'll try and breeze through since I feel this has become extremely lengthy already.  Who would've thunk?

I thought first, am I a good enough writer?  Honestly, this was not one of the more significant cons considering some of the blogs I've read over the years, just sayin'.  Clearly, I'm all good on grammar, but can I produce anything worth reading?

This leads me to my next thought.  Does anyone really care what I have to say?  The answer, probably not, but they do have a choice of whether or not to read it so frankly, I don't care.  FACE.  Obvi the aforementioned con only applies to non family and friends.  All you other B's better read because how else will I receive comments on my pointless dribble and in turn, determine my self-worth? 

Finally, and most importantly, can I put myself out there for all the world to see?  The interwebs in its entirety?  Stress.  Full.  One thing about me is that I am an uber sensitive person.  I'm totally different than anyone in my family in that aspect.  Well, my mom claims that she used to be this way, which I can totally see, but at present, she doesn't hold a candle.  Maybe she is a sneak peak of what my future holds?  As long as I don't drink the Glenn Beck kool-aide too I'm OK with that transformation. 

Sorry for the ADD drift.  Gotta watch out for those.  Anyway, the idea of having my thoughts, feelings, and general nonsense out there floating in the webs for everyone to see, read, and have an opinion about makes me feel like I'm about to have a massive coronary.  I'm not an outgoing person, but I'm not a hermit/introvert either.

So after all of the hours spent in deep thought while at work, not working, I ended up realizing that this worry and insecurity I have is really something I've always wanted to work on.  The months and years are now feeling as though they are traveling at the speed of light so I figured this would be as good a time as any.  New challenges for a new year.  The year I turn 30 no less.  Growing old is just fabulous.  Just like Cam.  I know he's a fictional character, but I long to be his friend.