Happy V-day!

I actually forgot about Valentine’s Day this year.  I’ve never really been the type to celebrate this holiday (if you can call it a holiday).  Even in the past when I have been in serious relationships I never really cared to go all out for my significant other.  I feel this is strange for me because I am somewhat of a romantic.  I think it may have something to do with being forced to share those feelings and how it can only be done through giving gifts.  When you take out the element of surprise and replace it with obligation, the romanticism seems to fly right out the window.

For some, this is a meaningful day that should be celebrated with someone they love, and if they’re without a relationship, it seems to remind them of that fact in a painful way.  I think this is totally understandable!  It’s hard being single.  We get comfortable being on our own, but having someone to care for and love is such a wonderful thing.  Finding the right person to love can be a challenge for a lot of people, including myself.  So even though my feelings about V-day aren’t all cotton candy and rainbows, it’s V-day all the same so I thought I would share some of the things I’ve learned while navigating these waters.  I realize that I need all the help I can get as well, but here are a few that I am sure of along with some feel-good movie quotes.

*Be yourself.  I feel that in order to attract the right person, you can’t be anything other than who you are.  Don’t work to make sure your interests mirror those of the person you are trying to attract.  It’s too difficult and exactly as I said, it’s work.

“This is love.  Al, you’re never going to find another girl like her in a million years.  Believe me, I know.  I’ve looked.” – Genie, Aladdin

*It’s about give and take.  Showing someone how much you care for them and support them and making sure they know it reinforces a relationship. 

“I’ve never had a moment’s doubt.  I love you.  I believe in you completely.  You are my dearest one.  My reason for life.” – Cecilia, Atonement

*Listen to those closest to you.  Love is truly blind.  Your friends and family have the ability to look from the outside in, and honestly, sometimes they know us better than we know ourselves.

“O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?  Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love.  And I'll no longer be a Capulet.” – Juliet, Romeo and Juliet

*Looks will fade with time.  Look to connect with a person’s character, intentions, morals, and values.  They’re much more attractive qualities.

“Each of us is born with a box of matches inside us but we can’t strike them by ourselves.” – Laura Esquivel, Like Water for Chocolate

*If a person likes you and wishes to know you better, you’ll know it.  If they don’t, you’ll be confused.  I stumbled upon this recently and it couldn’t be closer to the truth.

“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” – Harry, When Harry Met Sally

*Always continue to meet new people and make new friends.  You can never have too many friends in my opinion.  They simply make life more enjoyable.

"I have a dream too, but it's about singing and dancing and making people happy. It's the kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with.” – Kermit the Frog, The Muppet Movie

*No one is perfect.  Everyone has faults and that’s what makes them interesting.  Try not to have a certain “type” of person cemented in your mind.  You never know what type may surprise you.

“I'm tired of the fantasy, because it doesn't really exist. And there are never really any surprises, and it never really…Delivers. And I'm tired of it. And I'm tired of everything else for that matter. But I don't ever seem to get tired of you, so...” – Rob, High Fidelity

*Let the past go.  Having your heart broken is terrible.  It physically hurts.  However, as hard as it is, try to think about it as a good thing.  If you cared that much about someone who wasn’t right for you, imagine how wonderful it will be when it is right and you have someone that loves you the way you deserve to be loved. 

"I wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to have." – Fried Green Tomatoes

*Fighting is healthy.  It’s a form of communication in a relationship.  When you have arguments and the underlying issues are addressed and understood, they can strengthen a relationship.

“Wouldn’t it be lovely if we were old? We’d have survived all this. Everything would be easy and uncomplicated; the way it was when we were young.” – Katie, The Way We Were

*Don’t settle.  Going through numerous people and not finding someone really special is exhausting.  Know that you deserve someone who you’re crazy about in every way possible.  Sticking around in a relationship with someone because it is convenient isn’t fair to you or to the other person.  Care enough about the two of you to hold out for someone truly special.

“You is kind, you is smart, you is important.” – Aibilene, The Help

*Listen to yourself.  I believe God gives our hearts little secrets as to what is best for us.  It’s up to us to slow down enough to listen.

"Let your heart guide you. It whispers so listen carefully" – Littlefoot’s Mother, The Land Before Time

Like I said before, I am no relationship expert.  I know just as much as the next person, but it never hurts to share and learn from one another.  I know this was a pretty cheesy post, but it’s a lot less cheesy than some of the V-day flower arrangements I’ve seen over the past few days so consider it my gift to all of you!  Worthless knowledge.  Enjoy!

And if you have a significant other, enjoy your night in, night out, or night in bed.  Whatever you choose!  If you’re single, eat a bunch of chocolate and drink a bunch of wine.  Not because you’re sad, but because V-day is one of the only days it’s considered acceptable!  HAPPY V-DAY!